Tuned in or tuned out?

Today I am traveling to see my family for the holidays. In the aftermath of yesterday’s horrifying event in a Connecticut elementary school, I am feeling muted and heavy, not my usual travelling self. I have been so incredibly busy that I am already exhausted, a little grumpy and not myself these days. I am looking forward to some time off to get back to myself, more compassionate, patient and loving than I have been lately.
On my layover in New York, I am in a small wing of the airport that is filled with bar like desks set up with iPad after iPad free for passengers waiting for their flights. I’ve never seen anything like it. I got a snack and settled in with my laptop to watch a movie during my long layover, acutely aware that this isn’t my usual choice of activity but I am too tired to think too much so I plug in. Like so many people around me. During a heartfelt moment in my movie, I looked around me and paused it, noticing how usually spend my airport time people watching and reflecting on myself and the world around me. Who are all of these people? Where are they going and what is happening for them in this moment? Are the heading to see a loved one? Going to a funeral? For some reason airports invoke this kind of though process for me, I have time to just watch the world go ‘round and consider the humanness of the people around me.
I stopped my movie to talk with my sister and then shut everything down to wait out the last half an hour before boarding. I sat at the high top to wait, an iPad in front of me flashing “Stay Connected, surf the web on us!” As I glanced around me I took notice of the majority of the people plugged into some sort of device. In front of an iPad, laptop, on a phone or Kindle. In some ways these people are staying connected to friends, family and the world around them, and yet at the same time we are disconnecting from the immediate world around us. No one is talking to strangers about their trip. No one is sharing in a mutual experience. We are staying safely in the digital world, private and individual within the masses of people in the airport. We are staying busy and engaged in a strange disconnected world. Where is the time to reflect, disengage, connect to ourselves and the actual PEOPLE around us?
I am fully part of this movement. I have my laptop with me, which I didn’t even own a couple of years ago. I have my iPhone next to me. I spend more time on them than I realize, because it’s easy to be engaged with them and forget what life was like before they were a priority or even existed. But every once in a while I think about what I am missing by devoting myself so fully to “staying connected.” Am I being true to myself, the person that I think I am by rarely disengaging to interact with my surroundings?

The horrifying death of so many children and adults yesterday invokes many thoughts and arguments. I’m not sure sometimes which of them are “right” or “wrong.” But I find myself in the end, being discouraged by all of the chatter and the lack of action. We ask a lot of questions, but do we really have any perspective on how to change this world we have created? How do we really connect with each other to stop such horrible events?
As I type this, I hear a small child singing the ABC’s. I listen and look up to notice other people around me doing the same. Two women who I think are together and a man who seems to be on his own sit near me. When the child is finished one of the women claps and we all look at each other and smile. We make eye contact. And share a real, endearing, human moment. Maybe despite recent tragedy, there is still hope. There is still connection.

Last minute visit

Last Sunday I got a very last minute visit from my other half! Not my partner, love of my life other half, but my genetic, part of my soul other half… she looks like this and is almost always either sleeping or eating as shown below.
    
For those of you who don’t have siblings, or who don’t get along with theirs, it is very difficult to explain, but all I can say is that true love and soul mates aren’t just about romance and romantic partners. My sister and I have a connection that I can’t even put into words… every great once in a while I feel like I understand what it is like to have a twin. Not because we are so much alike but because we understand each other in a very intuitive sort of way, and love each other unconditionally no matter what. I never laugh so hard or feel so comfortable in my own skin as I do when I’m with my sister. With my brother it’s a different kind of connection, still that part of my being, some things are just intuitively understood, unconditional love connection (lucky for him!) but he’s a boy so it’s a little different. He does make me laugh more than anyone I know!
We had an awesome few days, speckled with me having to work a little which I was not very happy about! It ended with an afternoon on the island, one of our favorite places!

and I almost got her to stay…

but alas, she had to go home! I love you little sister!

Lola Arts

This year I am putting real effort into making my pottery and crafty things into a business. I have done small craft shows here and there for years, but now I am a bit more focused. I have a website and I’m doing some bigger shows this year! You can find my work at www.lolaarts.com. Custom orders are more than welcome and you can get an idea of what I do from my shop!
Here are a few of my favorite creations this year, new designs, new shapes and loads of cuteness!
    
      My new favorite… Butterdishes!                         The Littles. Tiny bud vases
    
               Shallow salad bowl                                        Large covered dish
    
                        Mugs                                                            Bowls
    
Vases, cups, plates and more! Check out my Lola Arts website to find out where I will be this summer! Thanks for visiting!

Leaving stress behind

Yesterday it was eight bajillion degrees outside and unbelievably humid out so we escaped (after a slow morning) by sailing out to sea. You may or may not know by now that while on the one hand I have a pretty easy going, relaxed, happy nature, I also am a totally wound up stress case. My brain is always buzzing with what I need to get done by when, what I need to prepare for, how much time I have to do it in and stress, stress, STRESS about it all. Even though I know none of this is helpful to me in any way, it still happens. AND there seem to be very few times that I can really be rid of the stress of what I need to do. Even though I know that none of what I stress about is really important. The world isn’t going to end if I don’t worry about this stuff, or even if I don’t get it done. Not the way I want to live my life at all.
So two things. #1, I’m working on this feeling like this more often,

and #2 I realized last night as we were driving home, that the whole time we were sailing I didn’t think for a minute about anything else in my life. Not once did I think about what I needed to do next or what I should be getting done. Just the wind direction, trimming the sails, and our heading. I think I just remembered my happy place.

A Little Burst of Inspiration

My creative side has been showing itself more often over the past six months or so. It’s always there somewhere but often it lies dormant until some random thing inspires it to come out and play. I’ve been making (and selling!) lots of pottery this year so far, made myself and website and am trying to get Lola Arts off the ground as an actual business. I also made a website for my massage business and am working on one for a friend as well, which I’m really enjoying! (I wanted to be a graphic designer in one brief moment in my life, so I think playing with websites feeds that part of me!)
I’ve been working on ideas for my pottery display when I go to shows and have tuned into my love of cute vintage things… not sure they will go together yet, BUT I had my first great find yesterday!

After a lovely outside summer breakfast with Bo and Justin (with my pottery of course!) we decided to go yard sale-ing and each found one little item that we needed/wanted. (Mine was by far the best although I think we were each equally happy!) I got a sideways look from Justin but couldn’t help buying this ADORABLE sea foam blue/green (totally my color) vintage looking fan for ONE DOLLAR!! It was so me I couldn’t believe it and scooped it up like a six year old buying an ice cream cone!

I mean really, how could you pass this up? So cute! I plugged it in when we got home and it works, although Justin asked me not to leave it plugged in because old electrical stuff scares him. I thought about it for the afternoon and after dinner started working… I took the whole thing apart very carefully and cleaned it all up… scrubbed a little rust off of the grills and took the fan part out careful to keep track of all of the parts. I plan on keeping them all so that I can convert it back to a fan someday if I want to but now… she looks like this!!

I’m so in love!! So that was my creative project yesterday… I wonder what else I can find!!

New Year’s Resolutions

We had a very (welcomed) mellow New Year’s Eve which gave me the time to actually reflect on the past year and begin to form some goals about the coming year. Goal setting is new for me. It’s such an obvious and simple task in some ways, but for many reasons I have just never really done it. I’ve always struggled with the idea of having new year’s resolutions as I tend to just avoid or break any trend that I try to set for myself, but I have learned to take an idea, tweak it with my own guidelines, and allow that to be ok.
I’ve done a pretty good job of passively manifesting things in my life but it’s time to stop being passive about it.
This year I have several goals which I am hesitant to write here in case I DON”T follow through, but here is a brief preview. I will preface this (as I do most things in my life) with the disclaimer that they might not all happen but I am going to try and what doesn’t happen, well, I’m ok with that. (Also as part of my own guidelines I allow for these to grow and evolve and maybe even become something else entirely… I’m also sure some will get added.)
My goals for this year include but are not limited to:
~ become a better cook. I mean, I make things that are edible, but they are often not amazing…
~ exercise Lola (our pup) more. Off leash exercise is better for her and me so that is going to be more of a priority!
~ exercise myself more (this works well with the previous goal… already killing two birds with one stone!)
~watch less TV. I’m doing well with this one so far and it allows much more time for following through on other goals and doing other things that make me happy! I’ve gotten on a roll with creating my own pottery… goal #1 there is creating my palate. 10 years later I finally feel like I’m getting there! This picture doesn’t really do it justice…

~take action and do the things there is “never enough time for.” Because if you don’t do them now, when will you do them? I’m learning that there is enough time I just have to choose wisely, keep my priorities in check and my mind focused on what I truly want out of my days. So far I’ve been quite productive, happy and feeling good this year! It started with butter dishes…

~ be on time. I have this memory of being really good at being on time for things that were important… the reality is that was when I was a teenager and I’ve deluded myself for many. many years into thinking that wasn’t so long ago. Time to change that. At least a little. Being on time will mean less stress which is always good.
~identify future life goals. As previously stated I am not so good at this. I have lots of grand dreams but not very many concrete, make them happen, goals… So I’m taking this year to figure some out.
~And the biggest, hardest goal which in turn involves lots of little goals to get there is to make more money this year. I have always had enough, but just barely. I have always had dreams, but no real means to make them happen… luckily some don’t require a ton of money, but some do, and I am tired of struggling. SO you are going to be hearing more from me about massage, pottery, aprons and other crafts as I attempt to really improve my life! Time to focus on my mad skills and make myself a decent living!
So this is me putting these things out into the world… we’ll see how I do with them, but I will say, for some reason this year they are really sticking so far. It turns out goals seem to snowball and reproduce on their own. So by setting a couple of goals I have in turn been eating better, planning ahead, sleeping more, and doing good things for myself all as a side note to say, not watching so much TV and wanting to do things I love. I think the older I get the more I realize it’s time to make the most out of life. It passes too quickly to take it for granted.