Letting Go (Probably Again)

This sounds like something that I have maybe titled a blog post before, but this is my November 2011 edition of Letting Go.
While I do a whole lot of talking and thinking about letting go, I’m not as good at it as you might think. But I am getting better and for some reason it’s been easier lately. In my head, I am a very organized, neat person. Justin will argue that there is no way that this could be true based on the state of my car and our house, but truthfully, clutter and mess makes me crazy. I spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to tidy things up and SIMPLIFY. Justin being a collector and not a tidy things up kind of person makes this battle even harder for me.
I have slowly been trying to purge things that (we) own, and while Justin feels often that it’s mostly his stuff, I have been paring down mine as well. (Which is much harder than purging someone else’s!)
This past weekend I did my biggest letting go yet and drove my to-die-for, grey, polka dot, cozy, snuggly couch to her new home in New York. Despite the fact and Lola and I are equally in love with her, she was very large, took up lots of space and didn’t really belong in our dining room… It took me a year of thinking about it, but now our dining room is so lovely and my sweet friends have a new couch! AND I was finally ready, so truthfully, it wasn’t that hard to let her go. Sometimes it just takes time to realize stuff is only stuff.

So there Justin, that is my grand gesture for purging my own part of our house. See, I DO get rid of my stuff too! No more complaints when your things go missing… I’ll just say they must have been stuck in the couch.

Yurts!

As I walked through the woods to join everyone at the boys' yurt I stopped for a minute to take in my surroundings. Sounds of the gentle flow of a stream as it skipped over and around rocks chattered in the background. From this spot all I could see was skinny trees sticking out of the snow that still blanketed the ground, most of them Birches, separated by a few paths worn by adventurous feet. Late fallen leaves lay sunken in the snow, while a few others held on, clinging to the winter branches. The air was crisp, fresh and full of life as it tends to be in the middle of the woods. The late afternoon sun gave the world around me a beautiful, natural, shiny glow that I attempted shamelessly to capture with my camera. Without luck. That was one of the moments that I wish I could hold onto forever. The feeling of pure, simple appreciation and delight. Of happiness, peacefulness and being grounded. These perfect moments slip away all to quickly for me, but when I am in the woods or on the ocean, I feel most authentically myself. The pressures and stresses of daily life fall away and I am left with clear, genuine perspective and peace. Stress, jealousy, anger, fear - all disappear and reveal a layer of humanity, basic necessity and simply being that is so hard to hold onto consistently. I took a deep breath in an attempt to instill this feeling in my body and soul and continued on down the path.

This week I had the opportunity to chaperone an outdoor adventure trip with Westbrook's Alternative Learning Adventure Education kids! I have always wanted to do outdoor experiential education with teens and thanks to my dear friend Molly, I finally got my foot in the door. With two of the Alternative Learning teachers and five teens, I spent two nights at Frost Mountain Yurts in Brownfield, Maine. The yurts were so fun to stay in, very swanky for a camping trip, with woodstoves, fire pits, hammocks and full kitchen gear minus a sink and running water. I was in charge of the girls' yurt and as I got our woodstove going for the night I realized that this was the first time I had been in charge of starting a fire myself! Shannon told me he had to resist ‘being a boy’ and coming down to help out, and I realized that in all of my camping and fire dwelling, I have never been in charge of the fire! Boys love fire. Even with the extremely kind, respectful, equality minded men that I have in my life, some instinctual, human thing kicks in where they always take charge of fire. I felt very empowered and accomplished as I reassured the girls that no we did NOT need the boys help to make our fire!

(P.S. When we arrived at the boys' yurt my fire was raging compared to both the inside and outside fires that had been started by boys. I’m just saying.)

We had perfect weather for our two great snowshoe hikes, Shannon made kick ass meals for us with help from the kids and by the third day when we went skiing at Shawnee Peak on our way home, we were almost too tired to ski! Is had been so long since I have carried a pack and climbed a mountain and it felt so great! The kids were absolute troopers and the education and experience that they get from these trips is absolutely amazing. I wish every kid had these opportunities because they can be life changing. I have seen so many kids gain self confidence, a broader understanding of the world, and major life skills through challenging outdoor activities and experiences and I am so excited to be part of it! Just another manifestation of things I want to happen in my life showing up on my front door. I swear, putting a little energy out there for your hopes and dreams makes them a reality sooner or later!