What I love about Gifting

I absolutely love the holidays! I don’t love the overdone commercials, the holiday displays up the day after Thanksgiving, or the crazy crowds and commercialism, but I do as a whole, despite all of these things in our culture, love the holidays. I love the energy of the season, of gifting and giving, spending time with loved ones, being a little more kind and connected, and the expression of love. I wish it could be year round but I do love that overall this time of year allows for a little more patience and kindness. (Except maybe in the shopping lines.)
One of our highlights this Christmas was that our last minute-ness payed off with a surprisingly quiet grocery store on Christmas Eve and a $1 tree from Lowe’s! We usually support the local Rotary Club, but we were too late, so a last minute stop at Lowe’s may have started a new tradition for us! (We can donate to the Rotary separately)
My only struggle with this time of year is the extensive buying and spending and accumulating of stuff. Every year I get a bit more committed to trying to do Christmas differently. I have already switched to mostly doing homemade gifts. I do purchase some things, but in general, I try to make things from the goodness of my heart. This proves challenging, but I know the best gifts that I give are one’s that I have put a lot of thought and energy into, and that really came from ME. At the same time, the gifts that I love the most are not necessarily handmade, but that show how someone really knows me. I received some very extravigant gift this year, but almost all of them were incredibly personal and right or target for who I am and what I like and need.

(Lola loves her new squeeky mallard.)

What is important to me about gifting:
1) I love giving handmade gifts. There is so much love and all of the other things that I am about to mention in homemade gifts. I also know that not everyone feels capable of making gifts which is completely fine as well, but for those who can, including myself, I love it.  I always seem to cram them all in at the last minute in December, and never do all that I intend to.  This coming year I am going to be more proactive and start making things all throughout the year so a) I am doing the creating that I love more often, and b) I really have time to figure out and create some great gifts with less stress and more (see below) meaning.
2) Meaning. I want the gifts that I give and receive to have some meaning, not just be a gift for the sake of giving a gift. It can be loving, a reflection of who I am, a personal joke, whatever, I just want everything to have some meaning, even if it’s goofy. This year Justin handed me a gift and said this is the least expensive and smallest gift but I think it might end up being your favorite. It was a DVD of the Glee Concert. (And yes I loved it, even more than I thought I would because I am a giant Glee DORK.)
3) LOCAL. I am incredibly into supporting local. Spending money is actually important in the world around us and what is most important to me is that my money goes to local businesses and people. Not only do I want to support local crafters and business people, I also really love having a connection to where something came from. I love hearing about who made it or the sweet local shop it came from, knowing that the purchase means you are allowing someone to continue doing something that they love. Some of my gifts included Canopy Coffee, which was created by some dear friends of mine. They spent two years in Panama with the Peace Corp, ended up buying a small bit of land and are buying coffee grown with sustainable and organic techniques directly from the farmers in Panama. Not only have they been there to know who and what kind of practices they are supporting, they also are paying the farmers a fair and higher rate because there is no middle man. (www.canopycoffee.com to learn more) I realize Panama isn’t local but it’s one example of supporting friends I love and a great business they are starting!
4) Intention. This is along the lines of meaning. They say that it’s the thought that counts and really in the end it is. (That being said sometimes there isn’t enough thought and then it doesn’t seem to count because no or little thought = bad) But truly, the smallest and most tiny of gifts can be the most amazing because of their intention. I think we have gotten lost in getting THINGS, when really it’s about the love and intention of what someone is giving, not the actual thing itself. In fact, I would rather be given an experience sometimes, instead of just more stuff. (Not that I don’t appreciate the things that I received as well!)
5) Time well spent. This is an odd ball one. My family lives in Florida so the holidays for me means traveling at some point to have a week with my family. This year I went early and actually had the week I wanted. Usually we end up spending the days before Christmas running our separate ways trying to buy our last minute presents, stressing out, hiding in separate rooms wrapping them at the last minute… it’s crazy. Exactly the opposite of why I am there. This year we just spent time together and it was perfect. More than anything I want to have time with loved ones to enjoy the holidays together!
I want to keep a smaller footprint, I don’t want to collect a ton of things that I don’t need, but I also love giving gifts, so I don’t want that tradition to be lost completely. There is something lovely about sharing how special someone is to you through a gift. This season is all about love, kindness, sharing and being grateful. I’m sure I have left out some other important points that I can’t think of right now… What makes the holidays special for you?

Letting Go (Probably Again)

This sounds like something that I have maybe titled a blog post before, but this is my November 2011 edition of Letting Go.
While I do a whole lot of talking and thinking about letting go, I’m not as good at it as you might think. But I am getting better and for some reason it’s been easier lately. In my head, I am a very organized, neat person. Justin will argue that there is no way that this could be true based on the state of my car and our house, but truthfully, clutter and mess makes me crazy. I spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to tidy things up and SIMPLIFY. Justin being a collector and not a tidy things up kind of person makes this battle even harder for me.
I have slowly been trying to purge things that (we) own, and while Justin feels often that it’s mostly his stuff, I have been paring down mine as well. (Which is much harder than purging someone else’s!)
This past weekend I did my biggest letting go yet and drove my to-die-for, grey, polka dot, cozy, snuggly couch to her new home in New York. Despite the fact and Lola and I are equally in love with her, she was very large, took up lots of space and didn’t really belong in our dining room… It took me a year of thinking about it, but now our dining room is so lovely and my sweet friends have a new couch! AND I was finally ready, so truthfully, it wasn’t that hard to let her go. Sometimes it just takes time to realize stuff is only stuff.

So there Justin, that is my grand gesture for purging my own part of our house. See, I DO get rid of my stuff too! No more complaints when your things go missing… I’ll just say they must have been stuck in the couch.

It’s Officially Fall

I was doing the dishes tonight when it struck me. It’s really, actually, officially fall. There have been signs for some time now, but for some reason, it just hit me. I love the fall, it’s my favorite time of year, but there is always a little reluctance to admit that it’s here because it goes so fast.




The Commonground Fair happened a couple of weeks ago, which is a telltale sign. I worked it again with Lacey, had my fall Commonground time with the usual suspects and a few pleasant surprises! The weather was all over the place as usual, one chilly, wet day and one beautiful mid summer hot day. I was both bundled and barefoot in the same weekend, and while I don’t love extreme heat, I DO love being barefoot!



The weather has been up and down for a while now. This past weekend was over 80 degrees, but last week we had our first frost! I have slept with an extra blanket for most of the past two weeks. (Except this past weekend!) I have woken up a couple of times now to the smell of our heat which means it’s cold enough to pop on on it’s own. (Which I always slightly love and resent at the same time.) I’ve had the cleaning/organizing/purging bug, which is a sure sign. I have also been drinking tea in the mornings, and just two days ago when I woke up and looked out the window the trees had turned gold, orange and red colors overnight. Seriously, when did that happen?!




While this has clearly been creeping up on me, it was just tonight while I was doing the dishes that I made the obvious realization. I was scrubbing yet another oatmeal encrusted pot trying to remember how may times I had eaten oatmeal this week, and wondering if I actually liked it enough to be doing such hard work over and over again… when I realized. This is one of my signs. It is officially fall when I start eating oatmeal for breakfast.
Any other time of year if you asked me if I like oatmeal, I would have to give it some thought. Yeah, I guess. It’s not my favorite, but yeah I like it. But inevitably, in the fall when it starts to get chilly, what I want for breakfast is oatmeal. My mum used to make it with raisins when I was a kid. I was not a fan. Something about warm raisins, that then plump up a little in the heat and moisture freaked me out. But today, when I was relishing the maple syrup that I had added, I had a brief taste sensation of coming across a raisin in my oatmeal… and I kind of wanted them. In my oatmeal. Huh. Fancy that. The fall really does bring changes! What changes does fall bring for you?

Inspired Cooking

Cooking is one of those things that I like to think I am good at, but I’m not. I can do basic things, I don’t burn everything, or cook completely terrible things, but I can’t whip things together like I think I should be able to. Justin is a far better cook than I am, but in my defense, I’m not very good at doing what I am told. Sometimes recipes don’t work out for me even when I follow the directions, so now I find myself reading them and just plain not trusting what they say! Then again, I’m not always good at following directions…
A few years ago I was inspired by the most wonderful book by Molly Wizenberg called A Homemade Life. In it she recounts stories of her life along with recipes from her kitchen table growing up. Her heart is in the kitchen and she is lovely.
                   
Yesterday I was feeling a little Suzie homemaker and did some reading of Molly’s blog, www.orangette.blogspot.com.  I then made a trip to the farmers market where I picked up some local Maine blueberries to make the recipe she had posted for scones!

I have to say I was a little skeptical because scones sound like a difficult thing to make. But I followed the directions and they came out AMAZINGLY well! I was so excited! Molly’s writing has a calm, honest, humanness to it that makes me feel like if she can do it, so can I. She tries things that don’t turn out well, and makes yummy yummy things… she also writes the way I think which is helpful to me. I feel like I know her already, and have known her for years.

I forgot to mention that I am also a horrible food planner. I can look through loads of recipes and not find a single thing that looks good! I’m awful at planning ahead and choosing new things to make. Tonight however, not only did I make delicious scones, but I also prepped a whole chicken for roasting tomorrow night and made a simple, new pasta sauce for dinner, all care of Ms. Molly Wizenberg and Orangette. I feel a little more accomplished than usual tonight. And the best part is, the scone recipe? She got it from Standard Baking Company right here in Portland!  I will pass it along as well, and you too can experience the yumminess at home! Thank you Molly!
Oat Scones
Adapted from Standard Baking Company (Portland, ME) by Molly Wizenberg

If you use frozen berries, do not thaw them before using.
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup packed golden brown sugar
1 Tbsp. plus 1 tsp. baking powder
1 ½ tsp. baking soda
¾ tsp. kosher salt
11 Tbsp. (5 ½ ounces) cold unsalted butter, cut into ½-inch cubes
1 ¾ cups cold half-and-half
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries or blackberries
For garnish:
3 Tbsp. old-fashioned rolled oats
5 tsp. Turbinado sugar
Set racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven, and preheat the oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
In the bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade attachment, combine the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Pulse to mix well. Add the butter and pulse again briefly, until the mixture looks coarse and the largest lumps of butter are no bigger than a pea.
In a large bowl, stir together the half-and-half and vanilla. Add the flour mixture and the rolled oats, and stir until just combined. The dough will be thick and sticky. Add the berries, and stir briefly to mix. [When I use blackberries in particular, I find that it’s difficult to stir them into the dough without crushing them, overworking the dough, and turning the whole mixture purple. My solution is to only stir a little, and then move on to the next step. As you scoop the dough onto the baking sheets, you can use your fingers to press any errant berries into the mounds of dough.]
Using a 1/3-cup measuring cup, scoop the dough into mounds, arranging them 3 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets. Garnish the tops with rolled oats and Turbinado sugar.
Bake for 24 to 27 minutes, or until the center of the scones feels firm to the touch.
Note: Wrapped in plastic wrap or stored in an airtight container, these keep beautifully at room temperature for 4 or 5 days. Warm in a toaster oven before eating.

Why I love weddings

Weddings are one of those things that you either love or hate, and while I understand the reasons that some people aren’t wedding fans, I happen to love them. Even the boring one’s, the one’s where you don’t even get to interact with the bride and groom, the one’s that you don’t really understand, I still love them. And here is why.

Ceremony

There is something magnificent about ceremony. In some ways I don’t love the idea of things always being done in the same way. Whenever I am at a wedding I search for the things that are unique and different from other ceremonies, things that make it special. But I do love tradition. I do love the idea that we pass on similar experiences from person to person over time through generations, share common experiences, create history and stories to be told. Traditions create human connection, a feeling that others have experienced what is to come and that you can understand the experiences, and possibly even emotions, of people that you have never even met.

Friends and Family

I am a people watcher. Even at a wedding where I don’t know many people, I still get great enjoyment out of watching people interact, observing them as a group of the couples most dear loved one’s (and maybe a few odds and ends) and wondering what their relationships are to each other and the newlyweds. My most favorite thing is being with groups of my favorite people, and even if they aren’t mine, there is something lovely about the happiness and joy of a big group at a wedding!

Celebration

Along the lines of ceremony is celebration! I’m a sucker – total sap for lovey, sweet sentiments and moments. I love an event all in celebration of a couple, their individuality, their coupling, their spirit! I love the sappy speeches, the outward (if sometimes uncomfortable) expression of love for other people. Even if I don’t know them, it gets me everytime!

Design

I am some form of artist… I am in LOVE with design, decoration, the creative pieces of putting together a wedding, especially local, homemade, original creations. These pictures are all from my cousin Geoff’s wedding this past weekend. He married the most adorable, amazing woman, Siobhan, and she did an incredible job of designing all of the pieces of their wedding. This was officially one of my favorite weddings for design, creative ideas and pure beauty… totally me and I loved it! Here are a few more pics!

             

and last but most important… Love.

Siobhan’s father incredibly eloquently recounted the description of love that he gave to his young, questioning daughter. He said something along the lines of … love is when you are in a crowded room and your focus is drawn to one person… the sounds all disappear, the room goes dark as you close your eyes, only aware of each other. You share a kiss, and only when you open your eyes does the room come alive again, with the sounds and light of what is around you. Weddings are a celebration of what every being searches for. Love. I can’t even pretend to write well on the subject… Everyone knows what it is like to search for it, yearn for it, have it, lose it, live for it. You can say what you want about love, that it’s what makes the world go around or what makes it all worthwhile, that it’s the only thing worth living for… no matter what your thoughts are, life is all about love. Being in the presence of true love is… perfection. Love brings balance, peace and makes everything feel right in the world.

I have high hopes for my own wedding someday. Not for the dress or flowers or hair, (although those things will be fun in their own way) but because my favorite thing in the world is to get together with my favorite people. As an adult this seems to happen less and less and the idea of what I hope to be at least a weekend with all of my favorite people together in the same place sounds like pure bliss! Time stands still for me when this happens, no worrying, no unnecessary stressing about life, just pure, undistracted happiness!  My wedding won’t be perfect because not a thing goes wrong and everything is in it’s exact place, it will be perfect because it will be a celebration of all that is right and good in the world, with those I love!

Living with Creativity

Despite the fact that I have always been a “creative person,” I have never quite trusted my creativity. It seems to have a life of it’s own and comes and goes as it pleases. Which can be mildly annoying to one who feels the need to create but doesn’t always have access to creativity. I often wonder if I am truly that creative, or that good at being creative, because it seems to be there only when it feels like it. I can’t sew, throw pots, write, anything, unless I am “in the mood.” I realize that this is true of many creative people, but as someone who feels the NEED to create, the desire to create, I find it frustrating that it is not in my control to produce as often as my egotistical mind deems appropriate for a “creative person". I am not a career person. I don’t have ONE thing that I am REALLY good at, that I excel in, that I climb the ladder of, that I am an expert in. Sometimes this bothers me, as I WANT to be really good at something. But the truth is it makes sense to me that I don’t have one thing. It just isn’t who I am. I believe in the process of things, in developing and evolving through out life into whatever comes next. Still, I think this is why I don’t trust my creativity, because I think of it as the core of who I am, yet I can only be creative sometimes. Not whenever I want to be.

On occasion my mum has suggested, with the wisest of words, that I use my frustration, angst, or bad mood and go throw some pots or do something creative. On paper this sounds  perfect. I love the idea of channeling my energy into something creative and productive. In fact, I believe that should be the case for someone creative, that they are able to do that. But the truth is, that’s not how it works for me. I can tell you in less than a minute when I sit down to throw a pot if it is a throwing day for me. Sometimes creativity is just not interested in hanging around with me. Maybe it’s at the beach, or having lunch with another friend, but it is not available. If I relied heavily on my creativity to support myself, my fear is that a) I would become one of those deeply afflicted, dark creative types, b) that I just plain wouldn’t be able to produce, and c) that I would then start to despise my creativity, be angry at it, jealous and suspicious of it even, that maybe it wasn’t just mine, but was gallivanting around with others.
Luckily I am not one of those really dark, serious creative types, I can accept in the end that my creativity is what it is. I still have my guard up about our relationship; it’s not the most stable and a little co-dependent, but I will use it anyway, grab it’s tail on the way by and take what I can get. I suppose that what makes art and creative things amazing, is that we don’t know where they come from, everyone’s view of them is different and the point often is the process. It’s about the journey, for the creator anyway, not the destination, or end result. The end result is the expression of the process. And truthfully, it is a life lesson. That the point of work and energy and the daily process is the experiences themselves. There is no destination, no end result, the end is death. The process, the journey, is living.

Gratitude

I wake up in the morning and try to turn my focus from being bummed out that I have to get up, to thinking about what I am grateful for. It takes energy sometimes but it seems like a better way to start the day. Today I made a little time for a walk with Lola and a few minutes of yoga that got me thinking about being grateful.

I have this thing that arguably may or may not be genetic, but we call it the Bogle luck. My dad has it, oddly enough my brother has it and my sister too, and I’m pretty sure it extends to other family members too. It involves things generally working out in most situations. Isla is the perfect example. I had barely any money in the bank, hardly a life plan at the moment and she literally fell into my lap. Any rational person would have analyzed the situation and thought it completely rediculous for me to take her on, but I did and somehow it’s all working out! (An incredibly handy and supportive boyfriend helps too.)  A casual conversation at breakfast brought her up, my dad’s “check it out” mentality encouraged an attempt, turns out she lives in the same slip that I did when I was growing up on Lethe, the pieces fell together and she was mine before I could really think about it. Now this might not seem like luck to some of you – and I agree that maybe it’s not, but these sorts of situations are incredibly recurrent in my families life. This doesn’t mean that there is never struggle or difficulty, but in the end things seem to work out.
I think it mostly has to do with being open to possibility, having a positive outlook and being grateful. I believe that what you put out into the world comes back to you, if all you see and feel is negative, then that is going to be your experience of life. Small changes like trying to see the best in a situation, remembering to be grateful for what you do have, and viewing daily experiences as opportunities for growth and positive change allow space for life to go your way. Truthfully, it’s not luck, but my family is blessed with an amazing outlook and incredibly opportunities and while I don’t know exactly where it comes from, I am grateful.

Taking notice

Today I spent the unexpected snow day cleaning, doing laundry and organizing our house which has been driving me crazy for a long time now. I have been slowly trying to get our guest room (which is really our dumping ground) into a functional state and  to double as my craft space. I was so grateful for the time to do that today! For months now I have been in serious stress mode about my work and finances, or lack there of, and for the past few weeks it has escalated into a truly negative, constant anxiety in which I have felt like I have no control over my mental state. I can’t turn my brain off, my body feels in constant buzz about things I have to remember, the best order in which to do things, how to best fit everything in and how, oh how, to make myself more stable in many ways. On Tuesday my back went out and my visit to my miracle worker acupuncturist resulted in a clear understanding that I have not been taking care of myself in any way. I have let this stress and fear take over and lead me into a life that is unhealthy and solely focused on money, which is completely against my values. (I recognize that money is important and wish I had more of it even, but I  try to always remember that it is not the most important thing.)
It also reminded me that I have done the most fabulous job of manifesting my life into what I really want it to be. I recognized this periodically in the recent past but lately I had allowed it to get lost as I panicked about the small pieces that haven’t quite ironed themselves out. Last night at dinner we were talking about what we would do if we suddenly had endless amounts of money. Everyone else’s stories involved not doing what they are doing right now, and as I thought about it, I realized that I am really happy with where my life is and is heading. I have been striving for what feels like eternity to get where I want to be (as if that was one place) but honestly, my life is really falling into place. I think the hardest part about going for what you want is KNOWING what you want. What a loaded question. Identifying that is the struggle but once you know what it is, and have to courage to embrace it , the path becomes clear.
This fall I finally identified and embraced that I am an artist. I’m an artist. I can’t identify it much further for you, I didn’t go to school for any sort of art, I’m not intellectual or deep about my art, I just am an artist. This wasn’t an incredibly new idea to me, but I finally came to terms with it, I finally just let it be. And let it be ok with me that I want to be an artist.
The result has been that in the last month or so I have figured out how to be a massage therapist and an artist in a way that feels stable, real and right. (Ok well, I still have to solidify massage clients, but I’m on the right track.) I think I’ve just been searching for what feels right. I have worked for Lacey for almost 10 years now and I am now also working with Pam Bosco, a jeweler in our studio building. I have this incredible opportunity to learn a new medium, get some new experience and combined with massage, I’m starting to feel like my life is getting to a fantastic place. I’m not questioning who I am and what I want to be for the first time in years. Instead, I feel like I have listened to myself and helped to create my ideal life. This harmony has been spreading into even the smallest decisions that I make. It’s amazing how when life isn’t going well it seems like NOTHING is going well, and when it starts looking up it all just falls into place.
I lose myself easily but the older that I get, the better I get at being myself and being comfortable with that. I’m not sure why it is so hard to accept who we are as being not only enough but the way we are supposed to be. The most amazing, attractive, interesting people to me are the one’s who seem completely comfortable with themselves, who don’t question everything but just live life and enjoy themselves. I strive to be that kind of person, and forgive myself for feeling like I want to be different than I am. I figure that’s just part of me, to always want to be a better version of myself.
Tonight I sat in my guest/craft room and let myself recognize that I am loving creating my life. My fabric is all arranged on it’s rack, my craft stuff is mostly organized, the laundry is mostly done, and I am happy to have done it all.
"There are moments on the brink, when you can give yourself to a lover, or not; give-in to self-doubt, uncertainty, and admonishment, or not; dive into a different culture, or not; set sail for the unknown, or not; walk out onto a stage, or not. Resist then, and there is only what might have been." -Diane Ackerman

Yurts!

As I walked through the woods to join everyone at the boys' yurt I stopped for a minute to take in my surroundings. Sounds of the gentle flow of a stream as it skipped over and around rocks chattered in the background. From this spot all I could see was skinny trees sticking out of the snow that still blanketed the ground, most of them Birches, separated by a few paths worn by adventurous feet. Late fallen leaves lay sunken in the snow, while a few others held on, clinging to the winter branches. The air was crisp, fresh and full of life as it tends to be in the middle of the woods. The late afternoon sun gave the world around me a beautiful, natural, shiny glow that I attempted shamelessly to capture with my camera. Without luck. That was one of the moments that I wish I could hold onto forever. The feeling of pure, simple appreciation and delight. Of happiness, peacefulness and being grounded. These perfect moments slip away all to quickly for me, but when I am in the woods or on the ocean, I feel most authentically myself. The pressures and stresses of daily life fall away and I am left with clear, genuine perspective and peace. Stress, jealousy, anger, fear - all disappear and reveal a layer of humanity, basic necessity and simply being that is so hard to hold onto consistently. I took a deep breath in an attempt to instill this feeling in my body and soul and continued on down the path.

This week I had the opportunity to chaperone an outdoor adventure trip with Westbrook's Alternative Learning Adventure Education kids! I have always wanted to do outdoor experiential education with teens and thanks to my dear friend Molly, I finally got my foot in the door. With two of the Alternative Learning teachers and five teens, I spent two nights at Frost Mountain Yurts in Brownfield, Maine. The yurts were so fun to stay in, very swanky for a camping trip, with woodstoves, fire pits, hammocks and full kitchen gear minus a sink and running water. I was in charge of the girls' yurt and as I got our woodstove going for the night I realized that this was the first time I had been in charge of starting a fire myself! Shannon told me he had to resist ‘being a boy’ and coming down to help out, and I realized that in all of my camping and fire dwelling, I have never been in charge of the fire! Boys love fire. Even with the extremely kind, respectful, equality minded men that I have in my life, some instinctual, human thing kicks in where they always take charge of fire. I felt very empowered and accomplished as I reassured the girls that no we did NOT need the boys help to make our fire!

(P.S. When we arrived at the boys' yurt my fire was raging compared to both the inside and outside fires that had been started by boys. I’m just saying.)

We had perfect weather for our two great snowshoe hikes, Shannon made kick ass meals for us with help from the kids and by the third day when we went skiing at Shawnee Peak on our way home, we were almost too tired to ski! Is had been so long since I have carried a pack and climbed a mountain and it felt so great! The kids were absolute troopers and the education and experience that they get from these trips is absolutely amazing. I wish every kid had these opportunities because they can be life changing. I have seen so many kids gain self confidence, a broader understanding of the world, and major life skills through challenging outdoor activities and experiences and I am so excited to be part of it! Just another manifestation of things I want to happen in my life showing up on my front door. I swear, putting a little energy out there for your hopes and dreams makes them a reality sooner or later!

Love of Chocolate

This week I actually made a direct effort to find something new – other weeks things have just fallen into my lap but this time, I did some searching. What I found on the amazing Maine Today event page was a little St. Patty’s Day event at Wilbur's Chocolates in Freeport. Now, chocolate is something that gets my attention and when would I ever take the time to go do something like this? Well, before maybe never, but when you say you are going to do new things every week then you jump on these sweet little opportunities to have fun!
My best adventure trooper Molly drove up with me to make chocolate cauldrons filled with jelly beans!  We got to see the factory out back and learn a little about chocolate making and while it wasn’t quite Willy Wonka’s, I did a little pretending that it was!

First we dipped balloons into melted chocolate…

Then we set them onto the tray that where they sat in a really cold fridge for about 3 minutes to harden…

Then we cut the balloon to get it out…

(I have no idea why this picture is so small!)

With a little chocolate for glue we attached a small candy shamrock to the front and then filled with candy and wrapped them up! Yum!

Hairnets and all we had a blast on our little adventure! We got some little sweets and some inspiration to make chocolates at home on our own! I love getting new ideas for treats and gifts… and so what if we were the only adults there without children! We enjoyed every minute! Happy St Patrick’s Day!

In Public

This doing a new thing every week and writing about it thing has gotten away from me a couple of times. I’ve actually written a few posts at the same time and backdated them… and I’ve been tempted to do it again, but the reality is I haven’t stayed on top of it and I’ve decided just to embrace my imperfection and keep trucking… perhaps I’ll double up other weeks when I happen to be more on top of things! For now, I have one thing that I haven’t written about that is wanting to get out onto paper (or screen) so I’ll start there.
A couple of weeks ago while Jus and I were in Florida we went to my favorite Wednesday night open mic night at The Living Room in Boynton Beach to hear No Strings Attached.  Cliff and Wendy have become good family friends and with the help of my persistent cousin Kristi, I ended up on stage with Cliff singing Breathe by Anna Nalick.
I was all prepared to write this post as the first time I have sung in public, but the more I think about it I realize it’s not true. I have always been a singer, just mostly NOT in public. Well, aside from being the person who sings dramatically in her car, thinking no one notices, but I’m pretty sure they can’t hear me, so that doesn’t count. I was always in chorus at school, I had one solo when I was a senior, sang at the variety show on the island, I’ve even actually sang karaoke… not once, but twice IN PUBLIC, which was a huge step for me. But this open mic was singing in front of friends and family and people who do this regularly, in a restaurant, with a guitarist, and it felt VERY public.
While my very persistent cousin Kristi was pushing for it, my entire body was rejecting the idea. My stomach tightened into knots, my head fogged up, my tongue and voice stopped working and resorted to communicating in strained facial expressions that I’m sure did nothing to hide my anxiety and mild irritation at being pushed to do such a thing. In the end, it went ok – not perfect, a little strained with a few mistakes, but not too bad for 5 minutes notice and singing the song once outside to practice. The difference in this performance was that I actually went for it. I didn’t hide behind my soft, controlled, safe voice – I just gave it what I had regardless of what might come out and that was new for me. I have an incredibly sweet, wonderful teacher and friend to thank for that. Elisa James. She gave me the confidence through not only her vocal coaching, but also through her outlook on life, her vibrant energy, and her passion for music and singing. I learned so much from her personally and professionally and she is one of those people that you just know you are lucky when she enters your life.
So there. My current putting myself out there – singing in public story. I have to say, I love that as I get older it gets a little easier to push myself. Even though often I think I am doing something for the first time, when I look back I realize that I have come a long way from other similar experiences. I might feel the same inside but I have learned how to take them on anyway and with a bit more grace and confidence. I guess there are some good things about growing up!

The World of Web

My task this week has been to work on writing the text for a website for my massage practice. I am incredibly fortunate to have a boyfriend who created a beautiful site for me, and it is now my responsibility to fill it in with articulate, interesting information about myself and massage therapy. Humph. This is the hard part.
The truth is, Justin created the basis of this site for me ages ago and I just haven’t been ready to tackle it. So I’ve spent the past couple of weeks mustering up the energy, mental capacity and focus to get it done. This seems to be how things work for me. I put things off, stress about them, hem and haw about how I wish I didn’t have to do them (even if it’s something I technically want to do) until finally one day I just feel like doing it. And somehow, magically, it all flows and happens somewhat easily. (My new lesson needs to be how to let go and STOP stressing about these things since I know I’m not going to do them until it feels right anyway…)

So last night I hunkered down on my cozy gray polka dot couch with my sweet black dog at my feet and wrote and wrote and wrote. I’m not completely finished but I only have one or two more pages to write, a little tweeking to do and I feel quite accomplished. The major road block was having to write about myself, which is never easy to do. As well as solidifying how I want things to be done. It’s a lot of commitment for someone who isn’t so good with that to write down a complete business model, figure out what needs to be included, what I feel good about, make it interesting, appealing, professional and clear. Somehow last night, I was finally able to see myself as someone else would see me, a new therapeutic professional establishing a business and trying to get the word out. Instead of the slightly terrified small child who is trying desperately to be convincing as an accomplished adult… which is how I feel much of the time.
This is all very new to me and I am still trying to solidify my identity as a massage therapist, but as most things do in life, it will constantly evolve over time. I am in the beginning stages of something very exciting that in time will feel natural and so much easier. Being a massage therapist is the easy part… running a business is rather intimidating!
My site is small and temporary at the moment but hopefully will be up in full swing very soon. Visit me at www.massageforholistichealth.com and feel free to spread the word! Thank you!

Social Media Breakfast

This past week I took a big step forward for my massage practice and attended Social Media Breakfast Maine. SMB Maine is a monthly event put on by Amanda O’Brien and Kyle Pouliot of Hall Web Services to facilitate networking, communication, sharing and learning around the social media sphere. This month’s topic was about Blogging for Business, which I thought might be useful for me in starting my massage practice! Plus, Amanda is one of my oldest friends in the world and I wanted to get in on this work life of hers that I know nothing about! (This is also Justin’s world as well, so I’ve been wanting to understand a bit more about all this computer/web stuff that is so foreign to me!)
The moment I walked in the room I knew it was the right place to be… I forgot how much I love community, networking, learning events! (In fact much of my interests involve education and community in a variety of ways.) I am quite a shy, quiet person but I do love meeting new people and deepening connection in the community on a personal and professional level. The atmosphere was very relaxed but professional and although it was scary, it felt good to be sitting at a table and talking to people about who I am and why I was there. Introducing myself as a Massage Therapist and talking about newly starting a business gave me a boost and made it all more real and concrete for me. So far I have been stuck on my couch thinking about business cards and panicking about how to actually take action and find clients. This event helped me move into action and feel more prepared!
Three speakers addressed several different aspects of blogging and gave me some great tools and perspective about starting a blog for a business. The last speaker was local Portland business owner Chantal, who by sharing her experience helped make all of the advice and information more accessible and real. The entire experience made me feel prepared with a few new tools to start my own business. I have more than business cards now; I have ideas, motivation and some confidence that I can do this. Better yet, I’m not doing it alone. Resources exist everywhere and I have many at my disposal within my network of friends and family, and countless more out in the community.
I believe that things happen in their own time. It has taken me two years to feel ready and truly interested in starting my own massage practice, for many reasons, but it finally feels like the right time. As scary as it can be to put yourself out there, whenever I do I get good things in return which encourages me on. So I will continue to stumble forward in hopes that this is the right thing in this moment. Thank you all for your support. Stay tuned for information on my upcoming website!

The Igloo Ice Bar

 

One of my favorite things about Justin is that he doesn't do anything half way. When he gets an idea in his head he figures out every little detail, adds his own extras and goes the extra... ten miles. The spark of a little idea turns into absolute awesome-ness! So my third new thing this year involved us building a huge igloo type structure in our backyard… Justin style!

The week long project started by snow blowing the outline in the yard. We had perfect weather that week – although it was freezing, it allowed us to continuously build and thankfully the structure survived the one warm day in the middle of the week! By warm of course I mean just above freezing… it was a little droopy but still standing!

We worked every night for a week with the promise of an ice bar party on Saturday! We packed big plastic tubs full of snow and began building…

We sprayed each layer with water so it would freeze over night and be strong enough to put another layer on top the next night. This involved a lot of work with small portable sprayers that we had to fill up frequently in the tub upstairs, and or hauling the hose out of the basement because it’s too cold to leave it outside!

Layer number two….

Bo joined the team on night number two and the boys worked hard as I made dinner several nights in a row! Layer three made it up before the warm day hit us!

We did lose pillars that had to be re-built but layer four made it up the next night!

Insert homemade slab …

and torch for an ice luge,

homemade slab for ice bar equipped with ice shot glasses,

 

decorative ice candle holders,

fire,

and friends for a good time!

It was absolutely freezing that night – I think it was 4 degrees out, but we had a blast and stayed warm with chili, hot chocolate and standing very very close to the fire! It was quite a week and I think will become an annual event at the Bogle Drake house! Thank you to my Zumba class for reminding me to be silly, adventurous and have some fun! Winter is great if you make the most of it, get outside and play! Happy winter!