In Public

This doing a new thing every week and writing about it thing has gotten away from me a couple of times. I’ve actually written a few posts at the same time and backdated them… and I’ve been tempted to do it again, but the reality is I haven’t stayed on top of it and I’ve decided just to embrace my imperfection and keep trucking… perhaps I’ll double up other weeks when I happen to be more on top of things! For now, I have one thing that I haven’t written about that is wanting to get out onto paper (or screen) so I’ll start there.
A couple of weeks ago while Jus and I were in Florida we went to my favorite Wednesday night open mic night at The Living Room in Boynton Beach to hear No Strings Attached.  Cliff and Wendy have become good family friends and with the help of my persistent cousin Kristi, I ended up on stage with Cliff singing Breathe by Anna Nalick.
I was all prepared to write this post as the first time I have sung in public, but the more I think about it I realize it’s not true. I have always been a singer, just mostly NOT in public. Well, aside from being the person who sings dramatically in her car, thinking no one notices, but I’m pretty sure they can’t hear me, so that doesn’t count. I was always in chorus at school, I had one solo when I was a senior, sang at the variety show on the island, I’ve even actually sang karaoke… not once, but twice IN PUBLIC, which was a huge step for me. But this open mic was singing in front of friends and family and people who do this regularly, in a restaurant, with a guitarist, and it felt VERY public.
While my very persistent cousin Kristi was pushing for it, my entire body was rejecting the idea. My stomach tightened into knots, my head fogged up, my tongue and voice stopped working and resorted to communicating in strained facial expressions that I’m sure did nothing to hide my anxiety and mild irritation at being pushed to do such a thing. In the end, it went ok – not perfect, a little strained with a few mistakes, but not too bad for 5 minutes notice and singing the song once outside to practice. The difference in this performance was that I actually went for it. I didn’t hide behind my soft, controlled, safe voice – I just gave it what I had regardless of what might come out and that was new for me. I have an incredibly sweet, wonderful teacher and friend to thank for that. Elisa James. She gave me the confidence through not only her vocal coaching, but also through her outlook on life, her vibrant energy, and her passion for music and singing. I learned so much from her personally and professionally and she is one of those people that you just know you are lucky when she enters your life.
So there. My current putting myself out there – singing in public story. I have to say, I love that as I get older it gets a little easier to push myself. Even though often I think I am doing something for the first time, when I look back I realize that I have come a long way from other similar experiences. I might feel the same inside but I have learned how to take them on anyway and with a bit more grace and confidence. I guess there are some good things about growing up!

The World of Web

My task this week has been to work on writing the text for a website for my massage practice. I am incredibly fortunate to have a boyfriend who created a beautiful site for me, and it is now my responsibility to fill it in with articulate, interesting information about myself and massage therapy. Humph. This is the hard part.
The truth is, Justin created the basis of this site for me ages ago and I just haven’t been ready to tackle it. So I’ve spent the past couple of weeks mustering up the energy, mental capacity and focus to get it done. This seems to be how things work for me. I put things off, stress about them, hem and haw about how I wish I didn’t have to do them (even if it’s something I technically want to do) until finally one day I just feel like doing it. And somehow, magically, it all flows and happens somewhat easily. (My new lesson needs to be how to let go and STOP stressing about these things since I know I’m not going to do them until it feels right anyway…)

So last night I hunkered down on my cozy gray polka dot couch with my sweet black dog at my feet and wrote and wrote and wrote. I’m not completely finished but I only have one or two more pages to write, a little tweeking to do and I feel quite accomplished. The major road block was having to write about myself, which is never easy to do. As well as solidifying how I want things to be done. It’s a lot of commitment for someone who isn’t so good with that to write down a complete business model, figure out what needs to be included, what I feel good about, make it interesting, appealing, professional and clear. Somehow last night, I was finally able to see myself as someone else would see me, a new therapeutic professional establishing a business and trying to get the word out. Instead of the slightly terrified small child who is trying desperately to be convincing as an accomplished adult… which is how I feel much of the time.
This is all very new to me and I am still trying to solidify my identity as a massage therapist, but as most things do in life, it will constantly evolve over time. I am in the beginning stages of something very exciting that in time will feel natural and so much easier. Being a massage therapist is the easy part… running a business is rather intimidating!
My site is small and temporary at the moment but hopefully will be up in full swing very soon. Visit me at www.massageforholistichealth.com and feel free to spread the word! Thank you!

Social Media Breakfast

This past week I took a big step forward for my massage practice and attended Social Media Breakfast Maine. SMB Maine is a monthly event put on by Amanda O’Brien and Kyle Pouliot of Hall Web Services to facilitate networking, communication, sharing and learning around the social media sphere. This month’s topic was about Blogging for Business, which I thought might be useful for me in starting my massage practice! Plus, Amanda is one of my oldest friends in the world and I wanted to get in on this work life of hers that I know nothing about! (This is also Justin’s world as well, so I’ve been wanting to understand a bit more about all this computer/web stuff that is so foreign to me!)
The moment I walked in the room I knew it was the right place to be… I forgot how much I love community, networking, learning events! (In fact much of my interests involve education and community in a variety of ways.) I am quite a shy, quiet person but I do love meeting new people and deepening connection in the community on a personal and professional level. The atmosphere was very relaxed but professional and although it was scary, it felt good to be sitting at a table and talking to people about who I am and why I was there. Introducing myself as a Massage Therapist and talking about newly starting a business gave me a boost and made it all more real and concrete for me. So far I have been stuck on my couch thinking about business cards and panicking about how to actually take action and find clients. This event helped me move into action and feel more prepared!
Three speakers addressed several different aspects of blogging and gave me some great tools and perspective about starting a blog for a business. The last speaker was local Portland business owner Chantal, who by sharing her experience helped make all of the advice and information more accessible and real. The entire experience made me feel prepared with a few new tools to start my own business. I have more than business cards now; I have ideas, motivation and some confidence that I can do this. Better yet, I’m not doing it alone. Resources exist everywhere and I have many at my disposal within my network of friends and family, and countless more out in the community.
I believe that things happen in their own time. It has taken me two years to feel ready and truly interested in starting my own massage practice, for many reasons, but it finally feels like the right time. As scary as it can be to put yourself out there, whenever I do I get good things in return which encourages me on. So I will continue to stumble forward in hopes that this is the right thing in this moment. Thank you all for your support. Stay tuned for information on my upcoming website!

The Igloo Ice Bar

 

One of my favorite things about Justin is that he doesn't do anything half way. When he gets an idea in his head he figures out every little detail, adds his own extras and goes the extra... ten miles. The spark of a little idea turns into absolute awesome-ness! So my third new thing this year involved us building a huge igloo type structure in our backyard… Justin style!

The week long project started by snow blowing the outline in the yard. We had perfect weather that week – although it was freezing, it allowed us to continuously build and thankfully the structure survived the one warm day in the middle of the week! By warm of course I mean just above freezing… it was a little droopy but still standing!

We worked every night for a week with the promise of an ice bar party on Saturday! We packed big plastic tubs full of snow and began building…

We sprayed each layer with water so it would freeze over night and be strong enough to put another layer on top the next night. This involved a lot of work with small portable sprayers that we had to fill up frequently in the tub upstairs, and or hauling the hose out of the basement because it’s too cold to leave it outside!

Layer number two….

Bo joined the team on night number two and the boys worked hard as I made dinner several nights in a row! Layer three made it up before the warm day hit us!

We did lose pillars that had to be re-built but layer four made it up the next night!

Insert homemade slab …

and torch for an ice luge,

homemade slab for ice bar equipped with ice shot glasses,

 

decorative ice candle holders,

fire,

and friends for a good time!

It was absolutely freezing that night – I think it was 4 degrees out, but we had a blast and stayed warm with chili, hot chocolate and standing very very close to the fire! It was quite a week and I think will become an annual event at the Bogle Drake house! Thank you to my Zumba class for reminding me to be silly, adventurous and have some fun! Winter is great if you make the most of it, get outside and play! Happy winter!

Zumba

So, I don't know if you have heard of this phenomenon called Zumba, but it seems to be taking over the world. It's everywhere and seems on the surface like something that I would LOVE. Not being a huge fan of scheduled, intentional exercise, but loving movement in many forms I finally thought, ok, it's time to try Zumba.
I went on a Saturday morning by myself. I forgave my gym buddy, Bo, the trip partly because I would never force him to attend something like Zumba, and partly because sometimes these sorts of things are best done alone. Some people (who I think exercise a lot) speak of the ability to clear their minds when they work out, do yoga, etc. I am not one of these people. I try, and I'm getting better at it, but I think Zumba gave me more of a mental work out than a physical one! Don't get me wrong, I was huffing and puffing, but I was completely stuck in my head because I didn't really like it. For those of you who don't know me, I'm a rather nice person. I try to be positive, see the big picture, not judge things or people too harshly... so I spent the whole class battling my own demons about why I wasn't having fun.
It was sort of a dance class meets aerobics class, but being someone who has taken many dance classes I struggled with wanting it to be more like dance. I wanted to perfect the moves, critique my performance, make improvements and well, be really good at it. Zumba brought up one of my biggest struggles. I want perfection. I'm not the kind of person who actually has to perfect everything, but I do internally struggle with wanting to be perfect at everything I do. Ha! Funny how even when you know something is ridiculous it still sticks with you...
Zumba was silly and fast paced and that is the point. Zumba isn't about perfection, it's about allowing yourself to let go, be silly, have fun and get a work out. And I had a really hard time doing it. What I did get out of it was an experience, a lesson, a reminder to let go and just go with it. I still feel like I should like it, so perhaps I will go back when the mood strikes me. Getting out and experiencing new things is incredibly important, and whether you like them or not you almost always get something out of it; so thank you Zumba for stirring my inner demons! They needed some exercise too.

A New Thing

Being sick and on the couch for much of this week gave me some time to think. Throughout the stress of looking for work, thinking about starting a practice, finances, worrying about how to meet all of my current goals despite my semi-annual personal/professional crisis, the thing that floats to the top is happiness. I have frequent identity crisis' because my head is filled with all of the things I think I need to be happy. And they often take precedence over the things I just plain need to have, say for instance, reliable work, and... money. Unfortunately this is a vicious cycle as one needs to have money in order to... well, survive, but also to do some of the things that lead to happiness.
Somewhere in my haze of sickness and stress I realized that once again I have been in the lull of inactivity lately and it has to stop. I had a very busy fall which led to exhaustion and far too many colds, but I've had some recovery time now and it's time to get back into an actual life.

SO. I've decided that along the lines of a new years resolution (if you would like to call it that) I am going to try to do something new every week and write about it here. In an effort to get out into the world more and write regularly, I'm going to do even the smallest thing that I haven't done before or maybe just haven't done in a very long time, and use it as my inspiration to write. It could be taking the time to go into a shop I've never noticed, or a new walk with Lola, or a new activity of some sort. Attempting to run a 5k was a good start! I think it will help me become more conscious of my community, the world around me, and my participation in it. And remind me that taking the time for even very small things, adds to happiness.

New Year

I have been wanting to write for a while now but I just haven't felt ready to. I've been thinking a lot about what the new year means for me, how I can get the energy to jump in full steam ahead
with clear, organized goals... and as usual it has been a rocky start.
In the past week or so I have made many lists and done lots of talking and thinking but no real doing. I've made mental plans to be more proactive and productive, but my action has been left for the future. Tomorrow, next week, some other time when I have a bit more energy, when I get over this cold, when I am ready... I've wanted to declare my hopes and dreams for this year loudly and with certainty, but the certainty part was lagging behind a little. Today however, I did something I don't often do. I just went for it. I put on some appropriate clothing, declared myself a runner and attempted a 5K with a dear friend of mine.

Now let me explain that I've done some talking about this. When Bo and I joined the gym this fall I thought, hey, I can do this. I'll work out, do some training and maybe try to run a 5k in the spring. What a great goal. Last night at dinner my ever so motivated friend Amanda mentioned that she was running a 5k today with a friend who, as of January 1st, has decided she is going to start running and do a 5k every MONTH. I was shocked for half a minute and then realized that I have been thinking about a 5k as if it was a marathon. Not being a runner it feels like a marathon. But then I realized that I can certainly walk a 5k no problem, so why not just try to run it and see how well I can do? The worst that could happen was that I would walk the whole thing. And what's so bad about that? So I took the plunge today, and while I can't say I ran, I did jog for much more of it than I thought possible and finished in 35min 27seconds! Not that this is any great record but it is my first time, I didn't die (or even want to at any point which is shocking to me) and now I know it can be done! I did a 5k, something I had never even entertained doing before.

SO. While I am feeling pretty good and quite proud of myself for today, I also am feeling a bit more prepared for the year. I have a few goals in mind, a few things I want to try, work on, and work towards, and I'm feeling ready to take action instead of just thinking about them. I tend to think and plan for a very long time before I feel ready to actually go for anything. This is a big and reoccuring lesson for me, that I forget and need to be reminded of often. Just do it. Go for it, embrace it, take action. You can only think so much and then it's time to DO it.

My biggest and most present goal is to get my own massage practice up and running. While I'm nervous about the process and the financial uncertainty, I feel like it's the right time and that somehow it's going to work out. You never know what will happen until to you go for it. So here's to a new year, positive events, lots of happiness, love and success for each and everyone of us!

Happy New Year!