In Public

This doing a new thing every week and writing about it thing has gotten away from me a couple of times. I’ve actually written a few posts at the same time and backdated them… and I’ve been tempted to do it again, but the reality is I haven’t stayed on top of it and I’ve decided just to embrace my imperfection and keep trucking… perhaps I’ll double up other weeks when I happen to be more on top of things! For now, I have one thing that I haven’t written about that is wanting to get out onto paper (or screen) so I’ll start there.
A couple of weeks ago while Jus and I were in Florida we went to my favorite Wednesday night open mic night at The Living Room in Boynton Beach to hear No Strings Attached.  Cliff and Wendy have become good family friends and with the help of my persistent cousin Kristi, I ended up on stage with Cliff singing Breathe by Anna Nalick.
I was all prepared to write this post as the first time I have sung in public, but the more I think about it I realize it’s not true. I have always been a singer, just mostly NOT in public. Well, aside from being the person who sings dramatically in her car, thinking no one notices, but I’m pretty sure they can’t hear me, so that doesn’t count. I was always in chorus at school, I had one solo when I was a senior, sang at the variety show on the island, I’ve even actually sang karaoke… not once, but twice IN PUBLIC, which was a huge step for me. But this open mic was singing in front of friends and family and people who do this regularly, in a restaurant, with a guitarist, and it felt VERY public.
While my very persistent cousin Kristi was pushing for it, my entire body was rejecting the idea. My stomach tightened into knots, my head fogged up, my tongue and voice stopped working and resorted to communicating in strained facial expressions that I’m sure did nothing to hide my anxiety and mild irritation at being pushed to do such a thing. In the end, it went ok – not perfect, a little strained with a few mistakes, but not too bad for 5 minutes notice and singing the song once outside to practice. The difference in this performance was that I actually went for it. I didn’t hide behind my soft, controlled, safe voice – I just gave it what I had regardless of what might come out and that was new for me. I have an incredibly sweet, wonderful teacher and friend to thank for that. Elisa James. She gave me the confidence through not only her vocal coaching, but also through her outlook on life, her vibrant energy, and her passion for music and singing. I learned so much from her personally and professionally and she is one of those people that you just know you are lucky when she enters your life.
So there. My current putting myself out there – singing in public story. I have to say, I love that as I get older it gets a little easier to push myself. Even though often I think I am doing something for the first time, when I look back I realize that I have come a long way from other similar experiences. I might feel the same inside but I have learned how to take them on anyway and with a bit more grace and confidence. I guess there are some good things about growing up!