Leaving stress behind

Yesterday it was eight bajillion degrees outside and unbelievably humid out so we escaped (after a slow morning) by sailing out to sea. You may or may not know by now that while on the one hand I have a pretty easy going, relaxed, happy nature, I also am a totally wound up stress case. My brain is always buzzing with what I need to get done by when, what I need to prepare for, how much time I have to do it in and stress, stress, STRESS about it all. Even though I know none of this is helpful to me in any way, it still happens. AND there seem to be very few times that I can really be rid of the stress of what I need to do. Even though I know that none of what I stress about is really important. The world isn’t going to end if I don’t worry about this stuff, or even if I don’t get it done. Not the way I want to live my life at all.
So two things. #1, I’m working on this feeling like this more often,

and #2 I realized last night as we were driving home, that the whole time we were sailing I didn’t think for a minute about anything else in my life. Not once did I think about what I needed to do next or what I should be getting done. Just the wind direction, trimming the sails, and our heading. I think I just remembered my happy place.

A Little Burst of Inspiration

My creative side has been showing itself more often over the past six months or so. It’s always there somewhere but often it lies dormant until some random thing inspires it to come out and play. I’ve been making (and selling!) lots of pottery this year so far, made myself and website and am trying to get Lola Arts off the ground as an actual business. I also made a website for my massage business and am working on one for a friend as well, which I’m really enjoying! (I wanted to be a graphic designer in one brief moment in my life, so I think playing with websites feeds that part of me!)
I’ve been working on ideas for my pottery display when I go to shows and have tuned into my love of cute vintage things… not sure they will go together yet, BUT I had my first great find yesterday!

After a lovely outside summer breakfast with Bo and Justin (with my pottery of course!) we decided to go yard sale-ing and each found one little item that we needed/wanted. (Mine was by far the best although I think we were each equally happy!) I got a sideways look from Justin but couldn’t help buying this ADORABLE sea foam blue/green (totally my color) vintage looking fan for ONE DOLLAR!! It was so me I couldn’t believe it and scooped it up like a six year old buying an ice cream cone!

I mean really, how could you pass this up? So cute! I plugged it in when we got home and it works, although Justin asked me not to leave it plugged in because old electrical stuff scares him. I thought about it for the afternoon and after dinner started working… I took the whole thing apart very carefully and cleaned it all up… scrubbed a little rust off of the grills and took the fan part out careful to keep track of all of the parts. I plan on keeping them all so that I can convert it back to a fan someday if I want to but now… she looks like this!!

I’m so in love!! So that was my creative project yesterday… I wonder what else I can find!!

New Year’s Resolutions

We had a very (welcomed) mellow New Year’s Eve which gave me the time to actually reflect on the past year and begin to form some goals about the coming year. Goal setting is new for me. It’s such an obvious and simple task in some ways, but for many reasons I have just never really done it. I’ve always struggled with the idea of having new year’s resolutions as I tend to just avoid or break any trend that I try to set for myself, but I have learned to take an idea, tweak it with my own guidelines, and allow that to be ok.
I’ve done a pretty good job of passively manifesting things in my life but it’s time to stop being passive about it.
This year I have several goals which I am hesitant to write here in case I DON”T follow through, but here is a brief preview. I will preface this (as I do most things in my life) with the disclaimer that they might not all happen but I am going to try and what doesn’t happen, well, I’m ok with that. (Also as part of my own guidelines I allow for these to grow and evolve and maybe even become something else entirely… I’m also sure some will get added.)
My goals for this year include but are not limited to:
~ become a better cook. I mean, I make things that are edible, but they are often not amazing…
~ exercise Lola (our pup) more. Off leash exercise is better for her and me so that is going to be more of a priority!
~ exercise myself more (this works well with the previous goal… already killing two birds with one stone!)
~watch less TV. I’m doing well with this one so far and it allows much more time for following through on other goals and doing other things that make me happy! I’ve gotten on a roll with creating my own pottery… goal #1 there is creating my palate. 10 years later I finally feel like I’m getting there! This picture doesn’t really do it justice…

~take action and do the things there is “never enough time for.” Because if you don’t do them now, when will you do them? I’m learning that there is enough time I just have to choose wisely, keep my priorities in check and my mind focused on what I truly want out of my days. So far I’ve been quite productive, happy and feeling good this year! It started with butter dishes…

~ be on time. I have this memory of being really good at being on time for things that were important… the reality is that was when I was a teenager and I’ve deluded myself for many. many years into thinking that wasn’t so long ago. Time to change that. At least a little. Being on time will mean less stress which is always good.
~identify future life goals. As previously stated I am not so good at this. I have lots of grand dreams but not very many concrete, make them happen, goals… So I’m taking this year to figure some out.
~And the biggest, hardest goal which in turn involves lots of little goals to get there is to make more money this year. I have always had enough, but just barely. I have always had dreams, but no real means to make them happen… luckily some don’t require a ton of money, but some do, and I am tired of struggling. SO you are going to be hearing more from me about massage, pottery, aprons and other crafts as I attempt to really improve my life! Time to focus on my mad skills and make myself a decent living!
So this is me putting these things out into the world… we’ll see how I do with them, but I will say, for some reason this year they are really sticking so far. It turns out goals seem to snowball and reproduce on their own. So by setting a couple of goals I have in turn been eating better, planning ahead, sleeping more, and doing good things for myself all as a side note to say, not watching so much TV and wanting to do things I love. I think the older I get the more I realize it’s time to make the most out of life. It passes too quickly to take it for granted.

What I love about Gifting

I absolutely love the holidays! I don’t love the overdone commercials, the holiday displays up the day after Thanksgiving, or the crazy crowds and commercialism, but I do as a whole, despite all of these things in our culture, love the holidays. I love the energy of the season, of gifting and giving, spending time with loved ones, being a little more kind and connected, and the expression of love. I wish it could be year round but I do love that overall this time of year allows for a little more patience and kindness. (Except maybe in the shopping lines.)
One of our highlights this Christmas was that our last minute-ness payed off with a surprisingly quiet grocery store on Christmas Eve and a $1 tree from Lowe’s! We usually support the local Rotary Club, but we were too late, so a last minute stop at Lowe’s may have started a new tradition for us! (We can donate to the Rotary separately)
My only struggle with this time of year is the extensive buying and spending and accumulating of stuff. Every year I get a bit more committed to trying to do Christmas differently. I have already switched to mostly doing homemade gifts. I do purchase some things, but in general, I try to make things from the goodness of my heart. This proves challenging, but I know the best gifts that I give are one’s that I have put a lot of thought and energy into, and that really came from ME. At the same time, the gifts that I love the most are not necessarily handmade, but that show how someone really knows me. I received some very extravigant gift this year, but almost all of them were incredibly personal and right or target for who I am and what I like and need.

(Lola loves her new squeeky mallard.)

What is important to me about gifting:
1) I love giving handmade gifts. There is so much love and all of the other things that I am about to mention in homemade gifts. I also know that not everyone feels capable of making gifts which is completely fine as well, but for those who can, including myself, I love it.  I always seem to cram them all in at the last minute in December, and never do all that I intend to.  This coming year I am going to be more proactive and start making things all throughout the year so a) I am doing the creating that I love more often, and b) I really have time to figure out and create some great gifts with less stress and more (see below) meaning.
2) Meaning. I want the gifts that I give and receive to have some meaning, not just be a gift for the sake of giving a gift. It can be loving, a reflection of who I am, a personal joke, whatever, I just want everything to have some meaning, even if it’s goofy. This year Justin handed me a gift and said this is the least expensive and smallest gift but I think it might end up being your favorite. It was a DVD of the Glee Concert. (And yes I loved it, even more than I thought I would because I am a giant Glee DORK.)
3) LOCAL. I am incredibly into supporting local. Spending money is actually important in the world around us and what is most important to me is that my money goes to local businesses and people. Not only do I want to support local crafters and business people, I also really love having a connection to where something came from. I love hearing about who made it or the sweet local shop it came from, knowing that the purchase means you are allowing someone to continue doing something that they love. Some of my gifts included Canopy Coffee, which was created by some dear friends of mine. They spent two years in Panama with the Peace Corp, ended up buying a small bit of land and are buying coffee grown with sustainable and organic techniques directly from the farmers in Panama. Not only have they been there to know who and what kind of practices they are supporting, they also are paying the farmers a fair and higher rate because there is no middle man. (www.canopycoffee.com to learn more) I realize Panama isn’t local but it’s one example of supporting friends I love and a great business they are starting!
4) Intention. This is along the lines of meaning. They say that it’s the thought that counts and really in the end it is. (That being said sometimes there isn’t enough thought and then it doesn’t seem to count because no or little thought = bad) But truly, the smallest and most tiny of gifts can be the most amazing because of their intention. I think we have gotten lost in getting THINGS, when really it’s about the love and intention of what someone is giving, not the actual thing itself. In fact, I would rather be given an experience sometimes, instead of just more stuff. (Not that I don’t appreciate the things that I received as well!)
5) Time well spent. This is an odd ball one. My family lives in Florida so the holidays for me means traveling at some point to have a week with my family. This year I went early and actually had the week I wanted. Usually we end up spending the days before Christmas running our separate ways trying to buy our last minute presents, stressing out, hiding in separate rooms wrapping them at the last minute… it’s crazy. Exactly the opposite of why I am there. This year we just spent time together and it was perfect. More than anything I want to have time with loved ones to enjoy the holidays together!
I want to keep a smaller footprint, I don’t want to collect a ton of things that I don’t need, but I also love giving gifts, so I don’t want that tradition to be lost completely. There is something lovely about sharing how special someone is to you through a gift. This season is all about love, kindness, sharing and being grateful. I’m sure I have left out some other important points that I can’t think of right now… What makes the holidays special for you?

Letting Go (Probably Again)

This sounds like something that I have maybe titled a blog post before, but this is my November 2011 edition of Letting Go.
While I do a whole lot of talking and thinking about letting go, I’m not as good at it as you might think. But I am getting better and for some reason it’s been easier lately. In my head, I am a very organized, neat person. Justin will argue that there is no way that this could be true based on the state of my car and our house, but truthfully, clutter and mess makes me crazy. I spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to tidy things up and SIMPLIFY. Justin being a collector and not a tidy things up kind of person makes this battle even harder for me.
I have slowly been trying to purge things that (we) own, and while Justin feels often that it’s mostly his stuff, I have been paring down mine as well. (Which is much harder than purging someone else’s!)
This past weekend I did my biggest letting go yet and drove my to-die-for, grey, polka dot, cozy, snuggly couch to her new home in New York. Despite the fact and Lola and I are equally in love with her, she was very large, took up lots of space and didn’t really belong in our dining room… It took me a year of thinking about it, but now our dining room is so lovely and my sweet friends have a new couch! AND I was finally ready, so truthfully, it wasn’t that hard to let her go. Sometimes it just takes time to realize stuff is only stuff.

So there Justin, that is my grand gesture for purging my own part of our house. See, I DO get rid of my stuff too! No more complaints when your things go missing… I’ll just say they must have been stuck in the couch.

It’s Officially Fall

I was doing the dishes tonight when it struck me. It’s really, actually, officially fall. There have been signs for some time now, but for some reason, it just hit me. I love the fall, it’s my favorite time of year, but there is always a little reluctance to admit that it’s here because it goes so fast.




The Commonground Fair happened a couple of weeks ago, which is a telltale sign. I worked it again with Lacey, had my fall Commonground time with the usual suspects and a few pleasant surprises! The weather was all over the place as usual, one chilly, wet day and one beautiful mid summer hot day. I was both bundled and barefoot in the same weekend, and while I don’t love extreme heat, I DO love being barefoot!



The weather has been up and down for a while now. This past weekend was over 80 degrees, but last week we had our first frost! I have slept with an extra blanket for most of the past two weeks. (Except this past weekend!) I have woken up a couple of times now to the smell of our heat which means it’s cold enough to pop on on it’s own. (Which I always slightly love and resent at the same time.) I’ve had the cleaning/organizing/purging bug, which is a sure sign. I have also been drinking tea in the mornings, and just two days ago when I woke up and looked out the window the trees had turned gold, orange and red colors overnight. Seriously, when did that happen?!




While this has clearly been creeping up on me, it was just tonight while I was doing the dishes that I made the obvious realization. I was scrubbing yet another oatmeal encrusted pot trying to remember how may times I had eaten oatmeal this week, and wondering if I actually liked it enough to be doing such hard work over and over again… when I realized. This is one of my signs. It is officially fall when I start eating oatmeal for breakfast.
Any other time of year if you asked me if I like oatmeal, I would have to give it some thought. Yeah, I guess. It’s not my favorite, but yeah I like it. But inevitably, in the fall when it starts to get chilly, what I want for breakfast is oatmeal. My mum used to make it with raisins when I was a kid. I was not a fan. Something about warm raisins, that then plump up a little in the heat and moisture freaked me out. But today, when I was relishing the maple syrup that I had added, I had a brief taste sensation of coming across a raisin in my oatmeal… and I kind of wanted them. In my oatmeal. Huh. Fancy that. The fall really does bring changes! What changes does fall bring for you?

Inspired Cooking

Cooking is one of those things that I like to think I am good at, but I’m not. I can do basic things, I don’t burn everything, or cook completely terrible things, but I can’t whip things together like I think I should be able to. Justin is a far better cook than I am, but in my defense, I’m not very good at doing what I am told. Sometimes recipes don’t work out for me even when I follow the directions, so now I find myself reading them and just plain not trusting what they say! Then again, I’m not always good at following directions…
A few years ago I was inspired by the most wonderful book by Molly Wizenberg called A Homemade Life. In it she recounts stories of her life along with recipes from her kitchen table growing up. Her heart is in the kitchen and she is lovely.
                   
Yesterday I was feeling a little Suzie homemaker and did some reading of Molly’s blog, www.orangette.blogspot.com.  I then made a trip to the farmers market where I picked up some local Maine blueberries to make the recipe she had posted for scones!

I have to say I was a little skeptical because scones sound like a difficult thing to make. But I followed the directions and they came out AMAZINGLY well! I was so excited! Molly’s writing has a calm, honest, humanness to it that makes me feel like if she can do it, so can I. She tries things that don’t turn out well, and makes yummy yummy things… she also writes the way I think which is helpful to me. I feel like I know her already, and have known her for years.

I forgot to mention that I am also a horrible food planner. I can look through loads of recipes and not find a single thing that looks good! I’m awful at planning ahead and choosing new things to make. Tonight however, not only did I make delicious scones, but I also prepped a whole chicken for roasting tomorrow night and made a simple, new pasta sauce for dinner, all care of Ms. Molly Wizenberg and Orangette. I feel a little more accomplished than usual tonight. And the best part is, the scone recipe? She got it from Standard Baking Company right here in Portland!  I will pass it along as well, and you too can experience the yumminess at home! Thank you Molly!
Oat Scones
Adapted from Standard Baking Company (Portland, ME) by Molly Wizenberg

If you use frozen berries, do not thaw them before using.
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup packed golden brown sugar
1 Tbsp. plus 1 tsp. baking powder
1 ½ tsp. baking soda
¾ tsp. kosher salt
11 Tbsp. (5 ½ ounces) cold unsalted butter, cut into ½-inch cubes
1 ¾ cups cold half-and-half
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 cup rolled oats
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries or blackberries
For garnish:
3 Tbsp. old-fashioned rolled oats
5 tsp. Turbinado sugar
Set racks in the upper and lower thirds of the oven, and preheat the oven to 350°F. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.
In the bowl of a food processor fitted with the steel blade attachment, combine the flour, brown sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Pulse to mix well. Add the butter and pulse again briefly, until the mixture looks coarse and the largest lumps of butter are no bigger than a pea.
In a large bowl, stir together the half-and-half and vanilla. Add the flour mixture and the rolled oats, and stir until just combined. The dough will be thick and sticky. Add the berries, and stir briefly to mix. [When I use blackberries in particular, I find that it’s difficult to stir them into the dough without crushing them, overworking the dough, and turning the whole mixture purple. My solution is to only stir a little, and then move on to the next step. As you scoop the dough onto the baking sheets, you can use your fingers to press any errant berries into the mounds of dough.]
Using a 1/3-cup measuring cup, scoop the dough into mounds, arranging them 3 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets. Garnish the tops with rolled oats and Turbinado sugar.
Bake for 24 to 27 minutes, or until the center of the scones feels firm to the touch.
Note: Wrapped in plastic wrap or stored in an airtight container, these keep beautifully at room temperature for 4 or 5 days. Warm in a toaster oven before eating.